Merry Christmas

"So, this is Christmas and what have you done?" sang John Lennon. This is what I've done. Its not much and it will not bring world peace, but it is from my heart. I bought Pro tools off of Craigslist the other day and decided to record this song I wrote a while back. It is a Christmas song, but I hope it can be sung all year round. I lit the Advent candles(above) and recorded the guitar and vocals in the bathroom. The piano is an old, upright Wurlitzer that resides in Corban's room. I had to tune the guitar to the piano because the old thing is slightly out of tune. Anyways, I hope you like it. If you really take a liking then send me a message I will send you a mp3 for Christmas. San-tee Claws does e-mail!! summerofchange@hotmail.com

Ok, here you go. Its called "On his shoulders." *Please excuse my piano playing.

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Here's looking at you kid

I am sitting in Casablanca Coffee in the old, White House. A grandma and her granddaughter just left the table in front of me. They are now to my left talking to the guy operating the expresso machine. Something about a guy they know who walks everywhere because he doesn't have a car. Also, present are two friends chatting about life and what not. One of them is pregnant. I can't help imagine her as Mary and the other lady as Elizabeth. There is another lady on the couch that is wired to her bluetooth and is focusing on her laptop screen. Lastly, there is a man at the bar who is slightly hunched over and looks kind of lonely. He was really wrapped up when he came in. It is not that cold, but apparently he is taking no chances. And now there is a old couple at a table though they don't look like a married couple they look like old friends. Maybe they are on a afternoon date or maybe they just met somehow by accident. They both look calm.

And all of this is happening while Switchfoot's, "Dare you to move" is playing over the speakers. I am trapped in a movie.

I have been listening to a lot of Billie Holiday lately.(Picture above) What a voice!! I mean she makes Norah Jones look like a little, sissy school girl. She sings this song with the line, "I've got my love to keep me warm." To me she defines jazz music. My pastor doesn't get jazz and I will confess that up unitl lately I didn't either. But jazz in the last month has stormed my world and I think I finally get. I can't really explain this revelation, but please know that it has come.

Ms. Holiday's voice has just enough melancholy in it to remain real, but also the right amount of joy and hope to keep me going. See, I have been going through a rather large season of doubt. Everything has been under fire, as of late. The evolutionist worldview has been on my mind a lot and I must confess that I have asked myself many times lately, "What if their right?" The whole idea scares me to death. Have I reason for living apart from Christ? If the naturalistic process is God then what reason have I to love my wife or my daughter or anybody?

I helped put on a artist retreat this past weekend in east TN. We had about 20 artists or so come and it was such a good time for me. As I heard each of their hearts I realized once again that I am not alone in my struggle. Everybody has there issues and everyone doubts this gospel we claim as truth. I came home feeling at peace and a part of a much larger community who experiences pretty much everything I do. There is probably no greater comfort than knowing you are not alone.

So, the last Sunday of Advent is approaching and our march to the manger will soon be at an end. But this cannot be the end. Christmas, the Incarnation is a daily occurence, as is the Crucifixion and the Ressurection. We have Christmas, Good Friday, and Easter with every moment and unacknowledged breath. It is a miracle to be...to simply be. So, with as much reverence as I can muster, I offer my Christmas gift to naturalism in a simple, high schoolian(?) type phrase.......

"Screw that crap."

Man, that felt good.

My friend Andrew's old band, The Normals, is now playing. Take me home, Jesus.

Things I thought you should know

-Warning: Never confuse the word eschatology with scatology. They are not even remotely similar in meaning.

-Alfred Nobel not only started his annual awards deal, but also invented something else quite different...Dynamite. Yep, pretty ironic, huh? Peace prizes and dynamite. Weird.

-The show Deal or No Deal just might be the fakest hour of your night. No one really acts like that. *This includes the briefcase, models.

-The second verse of Away in the Manger says "The little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes." I am pretty sure that baby, Jesus cried. He was God and man. Both cry.

-Richard Dawkins, atheist and world renowned scientist, calls himself a "cultural Christian." He does not want to do away with his countries Christian heritage. He enjoys singing Christmas carols. Huh?

-I just imagined a voting mishap involving people voting for Ru Paul rather than Ron Paul. That would be funny.

And finally...

-Carman is still making music.

Tom Conlon

Don't you love that unexpected call? You know, the one from a friend that you haven't talked to in a while. The friend you have wondered about, so many times over the last year. The person you have spoken of in your mind and said such things like, "Man, I love that guy" or "I hope he is well."

Tom Conlon called me today. He is living in Massachusetts for the winter. He is a songwriter that you really should know. His music is moving, but even moreso is his heart. I do believe he maybe the nicest guy I have ever met. I have opened up for him many times and each time I feel blessed to have had the opportunity. He has several records out and plans to be back on the road in February. By the way, he travels by himself in a converted short bus with his dog, Roadie. What an amazing way to travel!

Here is a video of Tom performing one of his best songs, "Leaning." Every time I hear this one tears well up. Please support this guy if you can. He deserves it.

Thanks for the prayers

I passed!!!! Yep, I had to get at least a 50 and I got a 53. That's two college courses I don't have to take!!

A big thanks to those who took time to say a little prayer.

Now, I can concentrate on other things like reading for pleasure or actually picking up a guitar. For the last month or so the only time I have picked up my guitar has been on Sunday's to lead worship. I guess you could say I am in a rut or maybe a new season. For the first time in a very long time I have been wondering what life would be like if I didn't make music. I am not saying I am throwing in the towel, but the thought has actually passed through my mind lately. I am sure the itch to write will come soon. The craft of songwriting seems to be a part of me. I do believe I write to stay sane. The cool thing is that sometimes this expression turns out to be the very thing that prevents other people from going down that same road toward insanity. I don't pretend to know how it works or that I am the only one that makes it so. All I have done is take notice. I write the songs, but I do not make them move. Someone much wiser than me takes the notes and words and does much more with them than they can do on their own. Music moves us not because it is music, but because it is given. It is in its very core nature a gift that requires like all gifts a repsonse whether it be sadness or joy or tears.

How did I get here? Till soon.

Short one

It is Monday night approaching Tuesday morning and I am up studying. I think I mentioned that I am going back to school in the Spring. Yep, so to save myself some time I am attempting to CLEP out of certain classes. Back in October, I successfully passed the CLEP test for Sociology and on Wed. I will be taking one covering Human Growth and Development. Right now, I am up to my neck in Freudian theories and what not. It is all interesting, but honestly I just want to pass the test so I don't have to be in school forever. My hope is to be starting on my bachelors next Fall. There is lots of work ahead, but I do believe this time I am up to it all.

I am approaching 30 and I am just now buckling down on my studies!! Man, this is a depressing thought. Why didn't I come to this point earlier? My wife, Dad, Mom, and brother all have their Master's and I have yet to get my Associates!!

Oh, well.

Back to Freud and zygotes and object permanence and the Apgar scale, and the reason a toddler crawls down a steep embankment even though he/she can already walk.

Pray for me day after tomorrow. I will need it.