Here's looking at you kid

I am sitting in Casablanca Coffee in the old, White House. A grandma and her granddaughter just left the table in front of me. They are now to my left talking to the guy operating the expresso machine. Something about a guy they know who walks everywhere because he doesn't have a car. Also, present are two friends chatting about life and what not. One of them is pregnant. I can't help imagine her as Mary and the other lady as Elizabeth. There is another lady on the couch that is wired to her bluetooth and is focusing on her laptop screen. Lastly, there is a man at the bar who is slightly hunched over and looks kind of lonely. He was really wrapped up when he came in. It is not that cold, but apparently he is taking no chances. And now there is a old couple at a table though they don't look like a married couple they look like old friends. Maybe they are on a afternoon date or maybe they just met somehow by accident. They both look calm.

And all of this is happening while Switchfoot's, "Dare you to move" is playing over the speakers. I am trapped in a movie.

I have been listening to a lot of Billie Holiday lately.(Picture above) What a voice!! I mean she makes Norah Jones look like a little, sissy school girl. She sings this song with the line, "I've got my love to keep me warm." To me she defines jazz music. My pastor doesn't get jazz and I will confess that up unitl lately I didn't either. But jazz in the last month has stormed my world and I think I finally get. I can't really explain this revelation, but please know that it has come.

Ms. Holiday's voice has just enough melancholy in it to remain real, but also the right amount of joy and hope to keep me going. See, I have been going through a rather large season of doubt. Everything has been under fire, as of late. The evolutionist worldview has been on my mind a lot and I must confess that I have asked myself many times lately, "What if their right?" The whole idea scares me to death. Have I reason for living apart from Christ? If the naturalistic process is God then what reason have I to love my wife or my daughter or anybody?

I helped put on a artist retreat this past weekend in east TN. We had about 20 artists or so come and it was such a good time for me. As I heard each of their hearts I realized once again that I am not alone in my struggle. Everybody has there issues and everyone doubts this gospel we claim as truth. I came home feeling at peace and a part of a much larger community who experiences pretty much everything I do. There is probably no greater comfort than knowing you are not alone.

So, the last Sunday of Advent is approaching and our march to the manger will soon be at an end. But this cannot be the end. Christmas, the Incarnation is a daily occurence, as is the Crucifixion and the Ressurection. We have Christmas, Good Friday, and Easter with every moment and unacknowledged breath. It is a miracle to be...to simply be. So, with as much reverence as I can muster, I offer my Christmas gift to naturalism in a simple, high schoolian(?) type phrase.......

"Screw that crap."

Man, that felt good.

My friend Andrew's old band, The Normals, is now playing. Take me home, Jesus.